Monday, March 22, 2010

Text Production #1

Global warming is a matter of great concern that is unfortunately quite often overlooked in light of other problems that seem to be more immediately demanding. There is a lot of ambiguity surrounding the theory of global warming with two extremists groups; the deniers who deny the existence of climate change and the alarmists who strongly believe Mother Earth is going in a downward spiral (Carter, 2008). Many of us do not know the vast ramifications of global warming and its direct correlations to climate change. Thus, it is essential for us, the citizens of our planet to scrutinize and ascertain the potential effects global warming can bring unto Mother Earth and how they can be corrected.

One discernible effect of global warming could be the significant rise in sea levels. As temperatures rise, the ocean water expands due to the warming and takes up more volume, which thus explains the rise in water levels (Woodford, 2006). It has also been argued that rising temperatures could, in the future, lead to a higher frequency of heat waves causing rises in sea levels and possibly the immersion of low-lying nations (Riebeek, 2007). North and South Poles are warming dramatically, resulting in Arctic and Antarctic glaciers melting rapidly, draining water into the oceans and raising concerns about large-scale rises in sea-level (Woodford, 2006). Retreating glaciers in parts of the world such as the Kilimanjoro may cease to exist within a decade or so. Due to this melting, 40 percent of the world’s population are predicted to face severe water shortages within five decades (An inconvenient truth a global warning, 2007, film on DVD, Paramount Pictures. Directed by Davis Guggenheim.)

In addition, it is also likely that global warming will exacerbate erratic weather patterns on Mother Earth (Woodford, 2006). Warmer temperature conditions lead to disturbed weather patterns which are beyond scientists’ ability to prognosticate. This translates to increased frequency of natural disasters such as storms and hurricanes, severe floods and droughts, freak tidal waves and irregular seasonal periods. A replicated account of such erratic weather behaviour would be Hurricane Katrina in 2006, which devastated the entire New Orleans and was recorded as the costliest and one of the deadliest hurricanes in the history of the United States (Gore, 2006).

Besides that, global warming may also upset the delicate balance of the ecosystem. As global warming aggrandizes, significant climate change occurs and this suppresses the well-being of the animals. The animals may not be able to adapt quickly to this extreme weather change and due to this, some may face extinction (Woodford, 2006). Plant species are also at risk of extinction as the climate changes raises the surrounding temperatures. This deprives the plants of water needed to survive and increases the chances of wildfire (Riebeek, 2007).

It is utmost essential for us to solve global warming and the best method is to trim down on our carbon footprint. It is recommended that we use energy saving electronic appliances such as fluorescent lamps, utilise renewable energy, and practise fuel economical approaches when behind the wheel (Woodford, 2006). It should also be stressed that governmental authorities play their part in acting against global warming. Nations should act with the bigger picture in mind, the environment. Implementation of policies and strategies to counteract global warming are a good way to start off. However, the United States has yet to sign the Kyoto Protocol, shielding themselves with China and India’s refusal to sign the climate change treaty. Their justification is that signing a climate change treaty will put themselves at an economic disadvantage due to decreased economic growth (Woodford, 2006). Nations should start to act now and change their mindset before it is too late.

To put things in a nutshell, I personally believe that Mother Earth is crying out loud that she is sick and the symptoms are obvious; climate change. We cannot deny that it is essential for us, the citizens of our planet to wake up and realize the pitfalls of global warming before it is too late and strive to apprehend global warming as soon as possible. Future generations may well have occasion to ask themselves, "What were our parents thinking? Why didn't they wake up when they had a chance?" We have to hear that question from them, now (Gore, 2006).

4 comments:

ysKIA said...

1.Is there a clear introductory sentence that introduces the subject matter and the controlling idea? What do you suggest for improvement if the introductory sentence is not clear?

Yes. It is quite clear.

2.Is there a thesis statement given as the last sentence of the introductory paragraph? Is it clear and connected to all the topic sentences of the body paragraphs?

Yes.

3.Do the paragraphs have sufficient supporting details and examples? How can the organization be improved?

Yes.

4.Are there any paragraphs which are not supported well?

I think there is no problem in the paragraphing.

5.Are there any sentences or sections that are not clear? If so, how can they be improved?

Clear.

6.Does the conclusion summarize all the main points given in the essay or restate the thesis statement? Is it clear? If not, how can the writer improve this part?

Yes. But I heard that Ms Dil said that no personal opinion in the essay. Your last paragraph ‘I personally believe that’ should be CUT OFF.

7.Does the writer cite the sources adequately and appropriately? Note any incorrect citation.

Quite a lot of citation are used which I think are correct.

8. Are there any apparent grammatical or spelling mistakes?

Should we emphasize the punctuation marks?
Last paragraph ‘ Mother Earth is crying out loud that she is sick(,) and the symptoms are obvious.’ Remember the FANBOYS!

9.Does the writer comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources? If no, what is missing?

Yes. All the materials are appropriate.

10. Additional comments:

Stick to the word limit. Your essay has exceeded 650words. For me, I think the vocab used are abit bombastic(but maybe this can arouse awareness of global warming). Btw, nice vocabularies, relevant points and efficient writing. Can’t help much, bro. Fighting!

sheng ying said...

bombastic words can create awareness? O.o LOL!

Unknown said...

great essay.. except the 'she' i have told you..

ysKIA said...

shengying: it makes the effect sound more serious than the facts. people may be more aware of the issue.